June Fools!
by awesomenessisme
Summary: Emmett and Rosalie decide to play a trick on Bella. Anyone want to learn vampire language?
1. Yeah, Bella, there's a vampire language!

**A/N : Okay, so for anyone that doesn't know, Pig Latin is a code where if there is a consonant then you put it at the end and add ay, and if there is a vowel then at the end you just add yay (Bella = Ellabay, Alice = Aliceyay, and Rosalie = Osalieray, for example.). But if you don't understand, I'll have translations :D. I just wanted to make this because hey, why not? Oh yeah, and Bella is not a vampire yet.**

**Emmett POV:**

"Bella?" I asked.

She turned around so that she wasn't facing the TV.

"Yes, Emmett?"

"Do you know that there is a vampire language?"

She stood up in shock. "Really?!" she asked.

"Duh. Rosalie!" I yelled.

"Yes, honey?" Rosalie smirked after she had literally raced at the speed of light to the living room. She knew where this was heading.

"Oday uoyay owknay atthay Ellabay oesday otnay owknay atthay erethay isyay ayay ampirevay anguagelay?" I asked, sighing theatrically. (_Do you know that Bella does not know that there is a vampire language?)_

"Esyay, oneyhay, Iyay oday. Ityay isyay eryvay adsay." She answered just as dramatically. (_Yes, honey, I do. It is very sad.)_

Bella blinked. "Can you teach me?"

It was my turn to smirk. "Ask Edward how. This is how you ask in vampire language: Isskay emay (_Kiss me)_."

"Fine," Bella said determinedly, "I will. EDWARD!!"

Me and my wife smiled at each other. Bella still didn't suspect a thing.

"Yes, Bella?" Edward said, running in faster than Rosalie. "Did you hurt yourself again?"

I barely held in a laugh. Edward would win the prize for the most possessive boyfriend ever easily.

"No. But… Isskay emay?" she asked.

Edward turned purple.

"Emmett?!" he shrieked. Just like a little girl.

"Um. June Fools!"

**Bwah, hope you liked it. R&R!**


	2. Edward sure loves his blood

**A/N: So you guys like this story, huh? Good for you! Originally this chapter was supposed to be, like, its own private one-shot but this was the best idea I had… so I modified it a bit and added it on! Woo! Hope you guys like it :D. R&R. Oh yeah… this will mainly be in Emmett and Rosalie's POV. Why? 'Cause Emmett's the prankster and Rosalie's his wife :D. And also, there won't be any swearing or anything 'cause I stupidly rated this K and even though I don't check the ratings, someone else might, and I like to keep a seven year old's innocence, you know? BWAH… the funny bit is at the end, but don't skip or you won't have a **_**clue **_**what's going on.**

**Rosalie POV:**

I knocked on Edward's door.

"Eddie?" I asked, but since I could not smell Bella in the room, I knew that I wouldn't be walking in on one of their private times, so I just barged in.

"What?!"

I sighed. "Oh Eddie… it was so sad that you didn't go hunting with us. Luckily I and Emmett brought you some blood. Mountain lion flavored."

"Edward. Not Eddie. Edward. And how kind of you, may I have some?" Edward asked.

"Sure. That's the point." I said, and handed him the jar full of the… blood.

"Mm. Yum. Now leave me in peace while I drink this glorious smelling blood. Ooh…" Edward requested while I smirked. Apparently the blood smelt better than Bella's neck, which is a giant feat.

"Going! I'll come back in five minutes, okay?"

I had barely closed the door when I heard a few funny noises, which nearly made me wet my pants from laughter, but I managed to run all the way to the back of Fork's Food Store before I started laughing.

"How did he like it?" Emmett asked eagerly. It was all his idea, and it's times like these when I don't know where I'd be without my husband.

"Oh, he loved it." I said in between giggles.

"Good," Emmett said, "now come on."

We ran back to the house at top speed. I wasn't about to miss Edward's face.

"EDDIE!" I yelled.

"Edward, not Eddie!" Edward said, exasperated.

"Whatever."

"But the blood was great; I've never tasted anything like it. So juicy, yet so yummy and delicious and perfect…" Edward sighed.

Both me and Emmett started laughing at that.

"What?" Edward asked, super confused.

"So," Emmett boomed, "I take it that you liked the ketchup?"

**Mwah! Maybe that wasn't as funny as the first one, but it's still a June's Fools!**


	3. The Kittens Pwn All

**A/N: I didn't really have any ideas for this chapter, but then I looked at my puppy calendar and you could've seen a light bulb going over my head :D. If some of the info isn't accurate then I apologize, but obviously I know that kittens aren't, you know, not scared of vampires and they can't hurt them, but I'm making things up, remember? oRiGiNaL. R&R! Also, since a lot of the people are Edward fans then I'll have some of his POV as well ;D. Plus no kittens had been harmed in the making of this xD.**

**DISCLAIMER (I remembered!): If I was Stephenie Meyer, there would be Bella in this.**

**Emmett's POV:**

I stood in front of Alice, Jasper, and of course, my wife Rosalie. We were trying to get a good idea for revenge after Edward had nearly ripped apart the entire household after finding out that we had given him some ketchup. He was absolutely _furious_. Not like I cared. That's what made it fun. And it's not like he was being too discreet about the stack of ketchup he has in his room now.

I sharply tapped the board and they all sat up straight. I swear, if they could've yawned, they would've. That's the problem with explaining all the details of how I came up with a revenge plan. People just don't _want _to hear how when you where in the shower you came up with Plan B : Mission Bath.

"So," I continued, "that's when I came up with Plan K : Mission Kittens."

Alice squinted her eyes. "No kittens are going to get hurt, right?" she asked.

"Of course not. All the kittens that will be doing the dangerous work are going to be kittens that died and have been stuffed. So that they have their claws and everything. But right after they landed where I want them to, I'll replace them with real kitties that can claw at Edward's face **(again, making things up :D)**. So. And since Edward is _terrified _of kittens, we're safe."

Rosalie smiled. "That sounds like a good plan. When do we do it?"

It was my turn to smile. "When are Bella, Esme, and Carlisle all gone? Tonight."

XoXo

**Edward's POV:**

I was lying calmly on my couch with a blanket pulled up to my chin. Since Bella was human, and I was intent on trying to make her _stay _as a human, I was pretending to be a human so that I could see what was so bad about it.

I closed my eyes and snuggled into the blue sheep blanket. It actually wasn't so bad. Why does Bella make it sound awful?

Wait. Hang on a moment. Why was something _crawling up my leg?_

Okay… that actually hurts. Ow, ow, ow. The claws – no. No. Claws. Furry. Please don't let it be a…

I flipped back the blankets and shrieked in surprise. Two sinister eyes where glaring back at me. The little black kitten evilly creeped its way up while I shrieked like a little girl. After I finally managed to get the guts to grab the kitten and drop it off my bed.

I just sat in supreme shock for sometime before I noticed something flying at me.

Is it superman? Is it a mutated mosquito? No, it was a tabby kitten, and it hit me flat in the face.

It was then that I really started shrieking and I stood up and shook the kitten off and ran into the bathroom, where I sat on the toilet, feverishly running my fingers over the scratch marks I had developed **(still making things up ;D)**.

Please. Help.

**Emmett's POV:**

I listened joyfully to the shrieks of my victim, and watched him run into the bathroom, where I was lucky enough to hear that he didn't lock the door, just closed it. Man, he was in for a surprise.

I took out the black walkie-talkie and whispered, "Herd the kittens to the bathroom, the door is not locked. Over and out.".

**Edward's POV:**

I pondered over what Bella would think when she heard about this. She'd probably laugh before hugging me and saying, "My poor little vampire.". Whatever Bella said wouldn't make me be any less ashamed of myself. Scared of kittens! I should go outside and challenge them!

But I'll stay inside, just in case that one flying kitten is out there.

I was about to gather up enough courage to strut boldly out before the door slight opened and kittens flooded in.

I couldn't count how many spilled into the room, but all I knew is that I backed up until I was completely surrounded.

Oooh crud.

The kittens where all around me, cackling their evil little soft mews. One pawed my trousers and that was the end – they were all over me. I was still puzzling over who had done this when I caught sight of one of the kitten's collars.

And it's name was Salty Crackers.

"EMMETT! I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I-"


End file.
